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Vicevi Dana
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Kolekcija - vicevi sa sa sajtova koji imaju vic dana. Svakoga dana novi vicevi. Stariji vicevi u arhivi. Linkovi ka sajtovima na kojima se nalaze vicevi. |
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Skratite put do viceva:
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Sačuvajte(boomarkujte) ovaj sajt, ili ga ubacite u Favourites koristeći ovo dugme:
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Znate neki novi vic?
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Vaš vic može bit jedan od viceva dana ako ga dodate u Arhivu viceva. Unesite vaš vic na strani za
Unos Vica
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Napomena:
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Neki vicevi su uvredljivi za pojedine kategorije
posetilaca. Sajt nema za cilj da ikoga uvredi na verskoj, nacionalnoj
ili bilo kojoj drugoj osnovi. Ako mislite da neki vic prelazi granicu
prihvatljivog, javite i mi ćemo taj vic izbaciti.
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Haso guzi Fatu pa joj govori. De malo gore, de malo dole, hajd sad malo napred ,hajd sad malo nazad, hajd malo ljevo, malo desno. Na to ce njemu Fata.
- "Haso jel ti mene jebes ili me parkiras?" |
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Arhiva viceva
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Pita Mujo Hasu:
- Nosiš li ti kondom?
- Nosim majke mi, skidam ga samo kad pišam i kad guzim. |
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Vicevi.biz vic dana
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Šta ispadne kada se ukrste pit-bul terijer i pudlica?
Ispadnu pudlici oči. |
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100% Zabava
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Šta se dobije kada se okrene plavuša naopačke?
Crnka kojoj smrdi iz usta. |
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Vicevi.co.yu
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Pita učiteljica: Djeco je li vam itko u porodici umro od sexa? Javlja se Perica: jest u mene baba.
Učiteljica: A koliko ti baba ima godina?
Perica: 86!
Učiteljica: Pa kako onda?
Perica: Pa upala s tavana i sva se SJEBALA!!! |
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Lupiga
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Moljci
Mama i sin moljci u ormanu...
- Mama, mama, mogu li samo malo da izletim napolje?
- Sedi tu i grickaj bundu.
- Ali mama... tako su mi lepo aplaudirali kada sam prošli put leteo...
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Sezam vic dana
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To ti je to
Prvo uleti neka histerična riba,
pa se baca,
pa za njom i neki kuronja,
pa je uhvati,
pa je pomiriše,
pa je baci,
pa bi je jeb`o,
pa ne bi...
i to ti, bolan Mujo, zovu BALET!
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Poen vic dana
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Pitaju jedinog očevica:
- Zašto je šef otpustio Pericu?
- Zbog jedne jedine reči. Evo kako je to bilo: šef se hvalio da mu je žena prva liga u krevetu, a Perica je na to samo rekao: "Znam!"
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Krstarica vic dana
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KOMPLIMENTI
- Da sam ja vaša žena, bitango jedna, stavila bih vam otrov u čaj!
- Da sam ja vaš muž, taj čaj bih i popio!
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Subotica vic dana
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Pozvao Bračanin Marko prijatelje u svoju konobu da probaju njegovo vino, pa im ga poslužio u plitkim tanjirićima. Kad su otišli, pita ga žena:
- A zašto im nisi dao piti iz žmula?
- Nisan šenpjast! Da su pili iz žmula morali bi dignut glavu pa bi onda vidili pršute kako vise.
Prilog čitaoca Pere S. iz Splita
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Danas
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Sorry sto je na engleskom...
Office life can be just like a Hollywood movie. Here’s why:
* Groundhog Day: When you feel you’re doing the same task over and over.
* Rambo: First Blood: When it all depends on you, once more.
* Casablanca: When you’re doing the wrong thing for the right reasons (or the other way round).
* Matrix: When your boss slowly circles around you, keeping you in focus, and time stands still.
* Batman: When some of the smiles you get look like Jack Nicholson’s impression of arch-enemy Joker.
* Napoleon Dynamite: When you feel you should smile back, but you can’t.
* Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark: When you need to find that important PowerPoint from two years ago somewhere hidden deep in the file system.
* The Godfather: When salary’s that offer you can’t refuse.
* Star Wars: When you feel your boss bought you like a plastic action figure to play around with.
* Rear Window: When looking out of the window offers more suspense than your actual job.
* The Usual Suspects: Whenever something goes wrong, they suspect the false ones (and never get the right ones).
* Goodfellas: When your day’s just as stressful as having a drug business.
* Fight Club: When you wish you’d just sincerely beat each other silly instead of sending mean and subtle emails.
* Vertigo: When everything’s spinning on the way down to the cafeteria.
* Modern Times: When, just like Charlie Chaplin, you’re trapped in a big messy factory where everything seems to go wrong.
* Saturday Night Fever: When the weekend just beats the non-weekend.
* The Sting: When nobody in the project ever really understands what’s going on.
* The Wizard of Oz: Whenever you’re sick, you feel life has more colors than before.
* 2001: A Space Odyssey: When your fingers hammering on the keyboard make you look like a monkey.
* Jaws: That dum-da dum-da sound playing in your head whenever your boss nears.
* The Sixth Sense: When during a meeting, you’re talking, but no one’s listening.
* Back to the Future: When you wish you could go back in time to alter how you handled the beginnings of that disastrous project.
* 48hrs: When you’re working overtime.
* Seven: When you need to work on the weekend, too.
* Ferris Bueller’s Day Off: What you do when you have problems getting up in the morning.
* Life of Brian: When you feel in your office everyone’s following the wrong messiahs.
* Gladiator: When meetings become all heated and aggressive and you’d rather be eaten by a lion now.
* Blade Runner: When you’re never sure if you’re talking to a robot.
* Scarface: When you’re under a nagging suspicion your career is not gonna end nicely.
* E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial: When you use the office phone to, well, phone home a lot.
* Tootsie: When you suspect someone is not quite what they try to make you believe.
* The Truman Show: When your boss hides a web cam in the kitchen to find out who steals the orange juice.
* Close Encounters of the Third Kind: When clients visit the office.
* Forrest Gump: When the undo key doesn’t work but you did something horrendously stupid.
* Pulp Fiction: When there’s nothing but fast food to eat for lunch in a two-miles radius.
* Saving Private Ryan: When you need to help a colleague on a project in trouble.
* Basic Instinct: When you feel on any given day at work, there’s just about 10 seconds of excitement.
* Scream: When something unpleasant happens and you want to, but just can’t, scream.
* The Exorcist: When your boss bangs the phone in anger and starts bad-mouthing loudly.
* Reservoir Dogs: Whenever a bunch of professionals sink a project.
* Bloodsport: When others are winning with dirty tricks.
* Ghostbusters: When your team is ordered to fix a problem you don’t even believe exists.
* Final Destination: When everything that can go wrong does go wrong.
* Dawn of the Dead: When a project you thought was finished just doesn’t seem to go away, ever.
* The Rocky Horror Picture Show: When you’re sure you’re in the wrong building.
* Top Gun: No, I don’t think office life ever is as cool as Top Gun...
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Vic dana sluzbeni site
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Pitanje: Zašto je Bog dao ženama ruke?
Odgovor: Znate li vi koliko bi dugo trebalo da opere suđe jezikom?
Muškarci od 40-ak godina obično imaju problema da nađu partnera njihove zrelosti.
Zato i izlaze sa duplo mlađim djevojkama.
Pričaju dva orla:
Znaš li da je umro Branko Ćopić?
Super, bar nećemo rano ustajati.
Nikad ne vjeruj sjaju u očima muškarca!
To je vjerovatno svjetlo što prodire kroz njegovu šuplju glavu. |
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Dan vic dana
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